ready or not, here we come

Courage is not the absence of fear.   It is the will to move forward in spite of it.

So, as much as I want to curl under my covers and hide from the world for the next few days, I can't.  I'm picking up my boot straps, gathering my precious boys...and Kirk and I are headed to Kansas City bright and early in the morning.  Friday the boys will both have their much anticipated (some days)/dreaded (other days) surgery to get ports placed.  Rhett will also be getting tubes in his ears. We've had the port option for a while and finally decided that now is the time to do it.  I know, well, I'm hoping, that this will be the best thing for all of us.  It's going to make their 3x/weekly infusions much easier.  But just wrapping my head around everything is really stirring up the nerves and emotions in my heart!  I'd much rather be an outsider looking in, but I'm their MOM....and they NEED ME.  So, I'm stepping up to the plate, putting my big girl panties on, and crossing this Jordan!!  It was surely no coincidence that in Bible Study this week, we were talking about Joshua. 

We are hoping to be home by Sunday evening, then they will have about a 2 week recovery.  Just in time for Grace to start kindergarten....another life-changing event, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.  For now, we would sure appreciate any prayers!  Thank you.

You know you live in Arkansas when...

You make your husband and let your kids do this:

for free food!

Five years ago I never would have been caught dead doing this.
Five minutes before this picture, my husband never would have been caught dead doing this.  Thanks for being a good sport babe! 

This one jumps strait to the top of our "You know you live in Arkansas when..." list!

Can you say "cheap date?"

Happy Birthday Rhett!

Last week our littlest bird in the nest had a birthday.  The big ONE.  Wow, what a difference a year makes, especially this past year!  What feels like a few minutes ago was a whole year ago. Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine that we'd be a family of five, going on six at this point in our lives.  It seems that throughout this year, God is daily reminding me in subtle ways that His ways are most definitely not mine! 

We did not plan Rhett, he was a BIG surprise.  The day I found out I was pregnant with him will forever be embedded in my memory as one of the most shocking experiences of my life!!  But panic, fear, worry, anxiety, only lasted a short time.  Funny how God works isn't it?  He so quickly replaced those emotions with peace, joy, excitement and comfort. My pregnancy with Rhett was the easiest one, and his birth was the most calming and romantic experience of the three.  Maybe it's partly due to by the third time around, both Kirk and I knew what to expect, meds or not, and knew better how to handle the whole process.  I had not worried the whole pregnancy about whether or not he might have Hemophilia.  I think I had a whole day (the day we found out he was a boy) where I grieved, heavily....and just like that, one day of grieving for the unknown, the "what ifs", was all I needed.  Because of this, I truly had a calming comfort throughout his birth and the days after, when we found out that yes, indeed he did have it.  Once again, God's ways are not ours, and I was totally at peace with surrendering to His perfect plan for our lives.

This precious boy has been such a blessing to our family.  I think, when sometimes we get glimpses of the big picture (ie GOD'S WAY), I smile because I know that His plan is more perfect than I could ever imagine or come up with myself. 

So, happy 1st birthday little man.  God knew we needed you in our lives, and what joy you have brought!  I can't wait to see what awesome plans He has for you.

Man, I love these boys!